I meditate to
the sound of the Grateful Dead
glad to be alive
“Allowing Spirit to move and flow through the mind and body means giving up attachments to threads of memories that bind us to the past.” – Larry Blomberg
“Even the greatest achievement is a new barrier to future success. ” – Larry Blomberg
The original intent of this blog was to share the up and downs associated with running a gauntlet called ministerial school. It was inspired by the constant battle I waged with fear, anxiety, depression, anger and any other vile emotion triggered by wanting to do good.
All worthy goals meet resistance early on and I was not going to let that bastard called resistance get the best of me. After all, I am in training as a minister. God will get my best effort – damn it!
(By the way, one reason, beside the obvious that the blog is called Almost Reverend is as a play on words. I planned on being a little irreverent – damn it!)
The Almost Reverend Blog turn into less of a bitch session and more into a poetic intersession. What I would like readers to know is, although there is more light than darkness in what I chose to publish much of the inspiration came as a result of being with my demons long enough that I turned the demons into angels. But that turning demons into angels thing is a whole other story.
For now I believe I fulfilled the task set before me by my WordPress Coach for our Blogging 101 Class and so I will hit “publish” right after this final goal statement:
The “Evolving Spiritual Body” the title refers to my evolution from civilian to servant as a personal growth metaphor. That was the first few years of the blog, or what was posted previous to today. The next evolution of the blog is to write and share more poetry along documenting the fulfillment of my goal of being a published writer. That’s the further evolution of my personal body of work. As I evolve personally I am expanding the community by supporting the growth of a small, metaphysical church – the real embodiment of Spirit.
Pour you soul into
All things as you light the world
With your love and grace
This the text of a lesson I delivered at a New Thought Church yesterday.
Who am I?
Who are you?
Who are we?
Usually when we ask this question the answer we get is a name, an occupation, an identity. We exist with a certain amount of density. We relate to ourselves and others on a material basis. Even our spiritual books begin by telling us how to live. Then they move into suggestion how to think. While it’s true that we process ideas and things through the intellect and we judge things based on results or tangible items, I believe we are much more than this.
I believe that we are vibrational beings! This is a new step in evolution. I know because this word isn’t in the dictionary. If we listen we have been told this for a long, long time. My favorite teacher, Jesus, taught on many levels but his greatest feats were not intellectual, they came from Spirit – Vibration!
We too are masters of vibration. We have mastered vibration to the point of creating density. We created ourselves and our environment to be a reflection of our belief systems. This is our gift. We create things from nothing – nothing but an idea! And, what is an idea? I don’t know. But an educated guess would say it’s a vibration in the brain and/or heart that we believe in to the point of taking action until the idea materializes. This gift is also our curse. We berate ourselves when we don’t fulfill our desires. There are often times when we desire a divine connection so badly and hate our circumstances so much we wish we were dead. We call it ascension. We’d just assume leave the pain behind.
Be careful what you ask for – it might come true! Asking to be in touch with our vibrational and spiritual self doesn’t mean leaving. It means coming to peace and allowing everything to be okay so that we ascend beyond and above the density that will sometimes hold us down. We have the ability to create anything from nothing but an idea! We are masters of our universe. We have exactly what we ask for when we are willing to penetrate the dense ideas.
Let’s talk about this place –ITC.
We created this place from nothing! Each of us did this. There was a time when this place did not exist, although it was always here. How many people walk through that door and say, I never knew this place was here! It didn’t exist for them until they needed it. Then – something intuitive or vibrational came into alignment and led them here. This place, ITC, shows up at different times for different people exactly at the right time. It happened that way for me!
Who are we when we get here?
A friend once asked, “Do you need to be of broken wings to come to a place like this?” That’s a great analogy. ITC is like an eagle rescue center. Many people enter those doors feeling broken; feeling like they need to be fixed. But I ask you, when a bird breaks its wings does the caretaker say to the sparrow, “Oh you terrible bird. You must have some terrible dysfunction. Or, do they say, you must have some deep psychological trauma based on the drama that occurred while you were in the womb? Do they say, well, you’ve have a bad spirit hanging around you that you’ve inherited generations ago because in a past life you were a Viking who pillaged innocent villagers in your desperate attempt to feed your family based on ancient scarcity ideas.
The caregiver looks at the bird and says, “Oh, you beautiful little creature of God. Your wing is broken. Let me give you a warm place to rest while your body heals itself.” On a vibrational level the bird is perfect. The wing is broken. It can heal given the right environment!
This is a great analogy because something may be broken. Something may be out of alignment. It’s more likely that your vibrational immune system is out of balance and you have succumbed to the terrible blight that pervades the human soul like a virus. You know the ailment. I believe the scientific term for it is:
You are not broken! And the people here don’t see you that way! I’ve witnessed Norma sit down with a woman who said her ex-boyfriend put a curse on her. I watched Norma listen to this woman’s opinion of what was wrong and then lean into her, take the woman by the hands and say, “You are love. You are loved. You are love. You are loved. And you are loveable.” Norma said this until it penetrate the woman; started realigning her soul; it opened her up to her own Divine DNA and tears began to flow out of this woman and wash away whatever guilt, fear, panic, regret, remorse or so-called dysfunction needed to be cleansed. Norma revealed this woman’s true Goddess Nature to herself. The lady was given a warm box with a little tissue to lie in for a moment and heal.
You are not broken!
I’ve been known to sing a sad song or two when I get depressed – or, as my friend says about me, when I’m prone to melancholy. One goes like this, “I’m not broke. I’m badly bent.”
You may enter those doors feeling broke. And something in your life may be in need of repair. But on a structural level; on a DNA level, on a cellular level; on a vibrational level – you are perfect!
When you got here did anyone try to fix you?
Because you are not broken! But you craved a place to go to bond with others and to rest from the drama of the outside world. You created the perfect place to be at the perfect time! You are in the right place PHYSICALLY and META-PHYSICALLY; EMOTIONALLY and SPIRITUALLY. You are the perfect combination and balance between DENSITY and VIBRATION. The problems you bring with you are perfect. The emotions you bring with you are perfect. The sadness, the grief, the rage, the anxiety; all of which you are suppressing quite well I must say! Are all perfect expressions of what it’s like to feel the density of being human.
You are perfect.
You’re emotions are not only valid. They are perfect.
You are not only in a Truth Center. You are a Truth Center. I am a Truth Center. Each one of us is our own personal Truth Center. And we take the Truth with us wherever we go.
Be that! Be the love that you want to be. Be the love that you are. Be the Truth Center.
Be okay with yourself. Be okay with your emotions and your situation. It is tough out there! Creatures of density will tie a weight around you and bring you down. They will try to get you to think that your injuries are beyond a broken wing.
Be at peace with where you are right now. You can’t be any different than you are right now. You can’t be any better than you are right now. I tell my athletes, you can’t be in any better shape than you are right now! But, if you accept the moment; if you love the moment; if you embrace the moment right NOW, you will create a future; you will create a next moment; you will create a future moment that is filled with HARMONY, ACCEPTANCE, dare I say BLISS and possibly ECSTACY. OH DEAR! MIGHT THAT ACTUALLY BE THE KINGDOM! THAT WHICH PEOPLE HAVE SEARCHED FOR YEARS! THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND! THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AMONG US. THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS RIGHT HERE –RIGHT NOW.
Accepting and being with discomfort doesn’t mean we don’t want to or aren’t going to evolve. It just means that JUDGEMENT weighs us down. JUDGING these emotions and experiences as wrong block our vibrations; JUDGEMENT s-l-o-w-s u-s d-o-w-n.
Success, creativity, aliveness, health, wealth and a stealthy sense of fulfillment are yours when you realize that you are a walking, talking, breathing, vibrating TRUTH CENTER!
You are and will show up as;
WHATEVER YOU NEED TO BE
ONGOINGLY – you will learn to pray without ceasing. Why? Because that’s exactly what’s needed and wanted of anyone created in the image of the All Mighty, All Loving, Ever Present and Most Peaceful Creator. By whatever name: God is Spirit. By whatever attribute: God is a vibration. We are made in God’s image and God is contemplated, loved and appreciated in our imagination! We truly have the power to imagine things differently. ACIM says, I see the world differently. Use your power of imagination to connect with yourself on a vibrational level to re-imagine and re-create yourself as whatever you need to be.
ONGOINGLY -PERFECTLY – PERPETUALLY -CONTINUOUSLY -CONTINUALLY
Who am I?
Who are you?
Who are we?
We are whatever we need to be?
We are a Truth Center?
We are metaphysical beings who get to choose our vibration. We are receivers for that which is All Good. Open yourself up and receive it!
Receive it now!
Say, “I AM WHATEVER I NEED TO BE!”
Say it, “I AM WHATEVER I NEED TO BE!”
Say it, “I AM WHATEVER I NEED TO BE!”
Say it one more time, “I AM WHATEVER I NEED TO BE!”
Look: we are blessed beyond measure. Truthfully, this lesson like so many was born out of a certain amount of pain, depression, anxiety and weariness. We all go through it. The question is, are we going to let it go through us? Are we going to let it affect us on a vibrational level? Or, are we going to treat it like a broken wing; seek proper care; give ourselves some quiet time in a cozy little box and allow our vibrational DNA to heal?
Truthfully, we are blessed beyond measure to have a Truth Center like ITC. But know that you are ITC. Just like all of us, ITC doesn’t appear bigger or better or more special than the next person or the next place. It’s a humble yet determined place of refuge and rejuvenation. It’s a place where we can release our regret, respond to the pressures of the world and use those pressures to turn something that appears dark, dusty and dirty into a sparkling diamond-like example for the world.
You are a Truth Center!
Vibrating and whatever level you need to be vibrating at.
God bless you.
I love you.
The door is open and the kingdom of heaven is here….
Go to the light
Whether its day
Whether its night
Weather the storm
Get beyond the norm
All is well, sit tight
It’s all good
And everything has it purpose
Although rarely understood
There is a message in the madness
When we work with wisdom
And seek to know
We find when answer
Behind the show
It is what it is
And it always was
Here we go again
That was now
And this is then
Life is no longer zen
We tumble and turn
Stumble and get burned
All for the sake
Of getting our turn
And what’s it for
It such a bore
Unless we rise up and fight
With all our might
To stay alive
Is one thing
People have passed
Both dead and alive
They had nothing
Else to give
But give I must
For it helps me live
And not confuse
What was now
And what was then
It’s been a while since I said hello. I’d say I miss you except that we know that we are always present every where. I am grateful for your presence. All is well.
You need no one to
Teach you, if the anointing
You receive is God’s.
God’s spirit is in
You and among you; listen
Trust the stillness, and
The voice within you will give
You all the answers.
As far as New Years Resolutions go, I have two. I initially wrote them down as lessons learned last year. When asked if I had any resolutions for this year they came out of my mouth as resolutions.
Here are two ideas I wish to live by: Be gentle (with myself and others); and, trust / listen to intuition (without hesitation or doubt).
I wrote them in my Dream Journal on December 27th. The gentle part was experiential and a result of what is working for me to get through periods of depression and perceived failure. The intuition aspect is just as much a result of experience as it is from a message that became clear with the help of a dream.
In the dream I began descending a cliff above water and soon hesitated. My intention was to make the vertical descent to the water below. In my youth I ascended and descended situations like this often as we sought out swimming holes in the foothills of the northern Appalachian Mountain Range.
Age has brought with it too much hesitancy and self doubt. During the night vision a number of kids began to run, climb and jump off the cliff into the water below. Frightened, I found myself stuck and just as fearful of going back as going forward.
Pure nonsense! How many times have I had ideas, taken a few steps toward the goal of accomplishing those ideas and stopped after only a few steps? Too many! Then it’s just a matter of time before I am surrounded by people doing just what I was afraid of doing. After that I get disgusted with myself and depressed for not pursuing my dreams.
It is time to be gentle and forgive myself for hesitating and dragging my feet. Now is the time for me to trust intuition without hesitation. These ideas are good and divinely inspired. They come from quiet contemplations and motivated meditations.
Why question what is good? Why care even about the result? As the great god Nike said, “Just Do It.”
Confirmation of all these thoughts came on New Year’s Day as I read from the Lamsa translation of the Eastern Aramaic Peshitta text (the Bible, y’all):
“And you also, if the anointing which you have received from him abides in you, you need no one to teach you; that same anointing which is of God will teach you all things; it is truth, and there is no lie in it; and even as I have taught you, abide in it.” – 1 John 2:27
Faith and hope = prayer.
Faith acknowledges God as source. The divine energy of God flows through us and all things. Hope acknowledges that we are mysteriously placed here in human form yet intuitively trust that we are born of and blessed with that divine energy – the spirit of God. We have faith and we hope; in other words, we pray that we might live a profound and practical life rooted in Spirit.
May we all experience an anointing of Spirit.